~Men, Women and children "You Do Not Need To Take It Anymore". Below you will read the real life experiences of victims of Domestic Violence, Abuse and Rape along with Links and WebRings where you will find information, help and self-help. It will not get better only worse untill YOU do something about it. I have seen the results, we live in a sick society that is getting sicker everyday. God Bless You

~The Creation~

~When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being. When I created man I formed him and breathed life into his nostrils. But you, woman, I fashioned.~

~Man was put to sleep so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you and so he could not interfere with the creativity of ME.~

~From one bone, I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects man's life. I chose the strong yet delicate rib which protects his heart and lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do. Your characteristics are as the rib, strength yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organs in man, his heart and lungs. His heart is the center of his whole being, and his lungs hold the breath of life.~

~The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart and lungs. Support him as the rib cage supports the body.~

~Around this one bone I fashioned you. I shaped you. I created you perfect. Your eyes, don't change them, your lips are lovely when they part in prayer, your nose so perfect in form, your hands so gentle to touch. Oh yes, I've touched your hands, I've held your heart. Of all that lives and breathes you are the most like me. That is why I made you the mother of life.~

~You see, woman, you reside in me. Adam walked with me in the cool of the day and yet he was lonely. He could not see me, or touch me. He could only feel me. So everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with me I fashioned in you. My happiness, my strength, my purity, my love, my support, and my protection. You are special because you are the extension of me.~

~Man represents my image, wo do to me. In crushing her you only damage your own heart and lungs. Woman support man as the rib cage does. In humility show him the power of the emotions I have given to you. In gentle quietness show your strength. In love show him that you are the rib that protects his inner self.~





It Could Have Been Different:
~*~*~*~

It could have been different, if only you'd known,
all of the love he had never shown.
I'd love to have been old enought to tell you, mom,
I'd tell you now but you are gone.
He made you think he loved you a lot,
but you never realized how much you fought.
He abused you until you'd sit and cry,
then he would stop and tell you a lie.
He'd say: "I love you Brenda,
and I don't mean to hurt you."
You fell for it, mom. How could you?
I love you mom, I just wish you could see,
All of the things you could now be.
Both of you are gone now,
and you don't have to suffer
or put up with your so called "lover".
It,s over now mom, everything is done.
We'd just like to say: We love you mom",
love ,
 
your daughters and son.

Police Report: July 5th. 1990.

Both were deceased by gunshots to the head.
Murder/Suicide.
As the result of domestic violence,
three children, ages 1,2 and 6 years old
were orphaned
and will grow up never knowing
the loving touch of their own mother.
~*~*~*~

~This letter was written by that 6 year old girl to her long deceased Mother when she was 14 years old, she has never forgotten.~

~ This Was The Last Case I worked On, I knew The Victims: I investigated the crime scene and took the photo's and I will never forget all this Senseless Violence Of A World Gone Mad!

Lloyd Peterson, Detective Sgt.(Ret.)~




AGAIN AND AGAIN



~*~*~*~

I'll be beat again,
he'll say he's sorry again,
and I'll be a fool
and give it a try again.

It's happened before,
he went out the door,
and came home drunk
to beat me once more,
the children cried,
with tears in thier eyes,
and I stayed with him, because I knew
there was no way to win.

He'll do it again,
because ther's no way to win,
he'll break my heart again,
and go out and get drunk again.
And I'll take him back again,
because the kids and I can't win,
because I'll be beat again.



Author, Lloyd


Ladies, you don't have to put up with it. Read all the links on this page, you WILL know what to do. Fear for your and the childrens physical and mental well being contact your local Battered Woman and Rape Relief and the Police for help.
PLEASE,

Lloyd




~BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE ANYONE ELSE,
YOU MUST FIRST LOVE YOURSELF~




~MEN~

Why feel men
the need to reduce
a woman?
Minimize all that
she is?
Bring her lower
than your lowest self?
Does her intelligence
her beauty
or her inner strength
threaten your manhood?
Must you use her?
Abuse her?
Diminish her self-worth?
Must you beat her?
Hurt her?
Does it make you strong?
Like a REAL man?
But say you
"When did I ever use
or abuse or diminish
a woman?"
Sad - so sad.
But the saddest
thing of all...
You do it
all the time
Unaware and unknowingly!

© NM Burt (Myst) 1998


Please return to visit this victim's poetry & art Link



~I GOT FLOWERS TODAY~

~I got flowers today. Its wasn't my birthday or any other special day. We had our first argument last night, And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me. I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said Because he sent me flowers today.~

~I got flowers today. It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day. Last night, he throw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare. I couldn't believe it was real. I know he must be sorry Because me sent me flowers today.~

~I got flowers today, and its wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day. Last night, he beat me up again. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money? I 'm afraid of him and scared to leave. But I know he must be sorry Because he sent me flowers today.~

~I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral. Last night, he finally killed me. If only I had gathered Enough courage and strength to leave him, I would not have gotten flowers today.~

~Author Unknown~




You Don't Have To Take It


You Have Options!

Women are not the only victims of Domestic Violence. I know of cases where the wife has hit the husband across the back with a 2"X4" board, anothers wife broke his arm with a mop, another had a arm broken with a chair, and another had his foot and three toes broken by 5 bottles of beer thrown at him. Anyone can be a victim.




~DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS~

~Domestic violence is not an isolated, individual event but rather a pattern of repeated behaviors that the perpetrator uses to gain power and control over the victim. Unlike stranger-to-stranger violence, in domestic violence situations the same perpetrator repeatedly assaults the same victim. These assaults are often in the form of physical injury but may also be in the form of sexual assault, threats, isolation, emotional mistreatment or economic control. Domestic violence tends to become more frequent and severe over time. Oftentimes the perpetrator is physically violent infrequently, but uses other controlling tactics on a daily basis. All tactics have profound effects on the victims.~

~Domestic violence is found in all types of intimate relationships whether the parties are of the same or opposite sex, are married or dating, or are in a current or past intimate relationship. There are two essential elements in every domestic violence situation: the victim and perpetrator have been intimately involved at some point in time, and the perpetrator consciously chooses to use violence and other abusive tactics to gain control over the victim. In some instances, the abuser may be female while the victim is male; domestic violence also occurs in gay and lesbian relationships. However, it is estimated that 95 percent of reported assaults on spouses or ex-spouses are committed by men against women.~

~Perpetrators of domestic violence can be found in all age, racial, ethnic, cultural, socio-economic, linguistic, educational, occupational and religious groups. We have found, however, that economic and social factors can have a significant impact on how people respond to violent incidents and what kind of help they seek. Affluent people can afford and usually seek private help -- doctors, lawyers and counselors -- while people with fewer financial resources tend to call the police or other public agencies. These agencies are often the only available source of statistics on domestic violence, thereby creating a distorted image of who suffers from and who perpetrates the problem.~

~It is a terrible and recognizable fact that for many people, home is the least safe place. Domestic violence is real violence, often resulting in permanent injuries or death. Battering is a widespread societal problem with consequences reaching far beyond individual families. It is conduct that has devastating effects for individual victims, their children and their communities. In addition to these immediate effects, there is growing evidence that violence within the family becomes the breeding ground for other social problems such as substance abuse, juvenile delinquency, and violent crimes of all types.~

~The enormous amount of attention paid to the issue of domestic violence in recent months has created an environment in which more women feel comfortable admitting they have faced violence at home. In 1995 26 percent of women reported that they had been physically abused by a husband or boyfriend some time in their lives; by January/February of this year, 31 percent of women said that they had personally faced abuse.~

~Despite the fact that awareness about domestic violence is higher than ever before, many people still make excuses for the abuser's actions. No one makes another person act violently; it is a conscious choice. Domestic violence is not caused by alcohol, drugs, stress, the victim's failure to be a better partner or her nagging. Many people who have alcohol and/or drug abuse problems are not violent; similarly, many batterers are not substance abusers. Everyone experiences stress at some time -- frustrations associated with money and work, our families and other personal relationships -- and everyone responds to it differently. Learning how to handle stress constructively is the responsibility of the perpetrator. Even if a violent incident is preceded by a heated verbal argument, NOTHING -- neither words nor actions -- justifies violence against a person, except in cases of self-defense.~

~Domestic violence is receiving more attention today than ever befor, and as a result, Americans are becoming more aware and less tolerant of spousal abuse. Four in five (80 percent) consider domestic violence an extremely or very important social issue. Domestic violence, like other social problems, is found in all sectors of our society, it must stop. There is no excuse for Domestic Abuse.~

~Domestic violence calls are some of the most difficult call police handle, and it's usually because of the very strong emotional involvement. People are very upset when it's to that point where a relationship is either breaking up, or there's some domestic violence and someone's trying to break free of an abusive situation.~

~The law views any type of physical assault as very serious, and if there is probable cause that an assault has taken place on a person, we are mandated to take the primary aggressor into custody.~

~Battering results in more injuries requiring medical care that rape, auto accidents and muggings combined. More that 1 million women seek medical help as a result of battering each year; domestic violence is the most frequently occurring, yet underreported crime in the nation.~

~It is reported that every nine seconds a woman is battered, 30 percent of female homocide victims are killed by their husbands or boyfriends; six percent of male homicide victims are killed by their wives or girlfriends. Dating violence is experienced by one out of every four teenagers. The statistics go on and on.~

~If there is any kind of violence going on, there needs to be some kind of intervention. It's usually a case where it goes in cycles--you can have an abusive situation and it gets better, but usually it will cycle back to the other situation if someone hasn't taken some steps in dealing with that problem. See the links below for information and help but be sure to bookmark this site so you may return to read the very important information.~

~Lloyd Peterson~


~DON'T LOOK BACK~

~As you travel through life there are always those times when decisions just have to be made when the choices are hard, and solutions seem scarce and the rain seems to soak your parade!~

~There are some situations where all you can do is to simply let go and move on gather courage together and choose a direction that carries you toward a new dawn.~ 
~So pack up your troubles and take a step forward the process of change can be tough but think about all the excitement ahead if you can be stalwart enough!~
~There could be adventures you never imagined just waiting around the next bend and wishes and dreams just about to come true in ways you can't yet comprehend!~ 
~Perhaps you'll find friendships that spring from new interests as you challenge your status quo and learn there are so many options in life, and so many ways you can grow!~ 
~Perhaps you'll go places you never expected and see things that you've never seen or travel to fabulous, faraway worlds and wonderful spots in between!~
~Perhaps you'll find warmth and affection and caring, a "somebody special" who's there to help you stay centered and listen with interest to stories and feelings you share.~
~Perhaps you'll find comfort in knowing your friends are supportive of all that you do and believe that whatever decisions you make, they'll be the right choices for you!~ 
~So keep putting one foot in front of the other and taking your life day by day.~
  ~There's a brighter tomorrow that's just down the road. Don't look back, you're not going that way!~

~HE LOVES ME~


~As I cruise through town in my old black and white I think about victims from a domestic fight The kicking, the biting, the pounding, they say But the memory's erased come the big court day. He loves me she says, as she started to cry I know he didn't mean it, when he blackened my eye It's all my fault, I deserve it, I do Don't look at my back, for it's all black and blue.~

~Tomorrow we will wake, and sober he'll be And the love that we share will flow soft and free For our children we'll make it, never falling apart The love that we share, it comes from the heart. If it happens again I will leave him you'll see But again came and went, now look at me First crutches then stitches, a cast here and there Now please don't arrest him, for that's truly unfair.~

~Then suddenly it happens, the fight if you will He's punching and stabbing, for him it's a thrill The warmth that I'm feeling, what is it I ask Don't talk they tell me, just breathe through this mask. When finally I realize, It's my legs I can't feel At the hospital he gives me that "I love you spiel" The doctor now sighs with a grim look in his eye Don't take me my Lord, for I'm to young to die. If this sounds too familiar, and really hits home Come forward I ask, for you're not alone.~

~Deputy Mike Coon~
Central Michigan


"For caring what happens to us and doing something about it to get the word out."

I put this teardrop on my Homepage to show my support for all the abused children in this world. Lloyd



~Teddy, I've been bad again,
My Mommy told me so;
I'm not quite sure what I did wrong,
But I thought that you might know.~

~When I woke up this morning,
I knew that she was mad;
Cause she was crying awful hard,
And yelling at my dad.~

~I tried my best to be real good,
And do just what she said;
I cleaned my room all by myself,
I even made my bed.~

~But I spilled milk on my good shirt,
When she yelled at me to hurry;
And I guess she didn't hear me,
When I told her I was sorry. ~Cause she hit me awful hard, you see,
And called me funny names;
And told me I was really bad,
And I should Be ashamed!~

~When I said, "I love you, Mommy,"
I guess she didn't understand;
Cause she yelled at me to shut my mouth.
Or I'd get smacked again.~

~So I came up here to talk to you,
Please tell me what to do:
Cause I really love my Mommy,
And I know she loves me, too.~

~And I don't think my Mommy means,
To hit me quite so hard;
I guess sometimes, grown ups forget.
How really big they are!~

~So Teddy, I wish you were real,
And you weren't just a bear;
Then you could help me find a way.
To tell Mommies every where.~

~So please try hard to understand.
How sad it makes us feel;
Cause the outside pain soon goes a way,
But the inside never heals!~

~And if we could make them listen,
Maybe then they'd understand:
So other children just like me,
Wouldn't have to hurt again.~

`But for now, I guess I´ll hold you tight,
And pretend the pain´s not there:
I know you'd never hurt me,
So Goodnight, Teddy Bear!~

~Cindy Pike Dunning~


~THE LITTLEST ANGEL~

~Dear Heavenly Father,

~Make me a better parent. Teach me to understand my children, to listen patiently to what they have to say and to answer all their questions kindly.~

~Keep me from interrupting them, talking back to them, and contradicting them. Make me as courteous to them as I would have them be to me. Give me the courage to confess my sins against my children and to ask of them forgiveness when I know that I have done them wrong.~

~May not I vainly hurt the feelings of my children. Forbid that I should laugh at their mistakes or resort to shame and ridicule as punishment. Let me not tempt my child to lie and steal. So guide me hour by hour that I may demonstrate by all I say and do that honesty produces happiness.~

~Reduce, I pray, the meanness in me. May I cease to nag; and when I am out of sorts, help me, O Lord, to hold my tongue. Blind me to the little errors of my children, and help me to see the good things that they do.~

~Give me a ready word to honest praise. Help me to grow up with my children, to treat them as those of their own age, but let me not expect of them the judgments and conventions of adults.~

~Allow me not to rob them of the opportunity to wait upon themselves, to think, to choose and to make decisions. Forbid that I should ever punish them for my selfish satisfaction.~

~May I grant them all their wishes that are reasonable and have the courage always to withhold a privilege which I know will do them harm. Make me so fair and just, so considerate and companionable to my children that they will have a genuine esteem for me. Fit me to be loved and imitated by my children.~

Amen

~Author unknown~

~FOR EVERY CHILD~

~For every child who cries at night Alone with shame and pain and fright~

~For every child who wants so much To only feel a gentle touch~

~For the beaten child, who cries in pain Whose tears run silent, like the rain~

~For the child used to satisfy lust Who never learns to love or trust~

~For the child taken from her/his home And made to feel so all alone~

~For the child whose home is just a shell Where life becomes a living hell~

~For the child who smiles but cannot feel Because of scars too deep to heal~

~For every child who yearns for love I hope and pray to God above~

~To hear your cries and heal your pain And give you back your life again~

~Author Unknown~

BOOKMARK BEFORE OPENING LINKS


December's Place


"For caring about children and what happens to them."

~Women/Men's Vigil
Against Domestic Violence~





~"All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing"~


THERE IS A PATH....

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Shelters and Havens

For Lisa Ann

You Are Special


Abused-A Survivors Story


Healing Hurting Hearts Links

Sites on Domestic Violence, Abuse & Rape

Combat Domestic Violence

Links To Everything On Child Abuse & Domestic Violence

When Home Sweet Home Is A Living Hell

Domestic Violence: The Facts!

Domestic Violence Against Men

Let's Break The Silence

Kathy's Essential Information Page

Effects of Domestic Violence on Children

Children's Art Gallery

Domestic Violence Home Page

Domestic Violence Links

What You Need To Know

Leigh-Ann's Story

< BIG>Welcome Friends

Life After Rape

Date Rape Information

Every 15 Seconds

What Words Cannot Say

Symptoms Of Abuse

GKI Lady Story

Battered Women

IMPORTANT CHILD ABUSE

VERY IMPORTANT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE INFORMATION


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BE SURE TO READ NEAR END OF THIS PAGE THAT "IT IS NOT ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE" (?)

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I applied to join a Domestic Violence Webring and this was the responce:
Date: Sun, Feb 14, 1999, 8:48am (PST 3)
To: lnp826@webtv.net Subject: removed
"I don't see where in any way your site is focused on domestic violence."
"I am sorry, but your site will not be added the webring: AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE of TPWOTW"

~§pyder~ Nancy Imelda Schafer Spyder's Empire http://www.spydersempire.com **Founder and Home Of: The Phenomenal Women Of The Web http://www.phenomenalwomen.com
WHY?
Ladies is this about DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, ABUSE and RAPE PREVENTION? Please send a e-mail to the above Founder of the group and tell her what you think! Thank You, Lloyd
***************************************************** I think victims of Domestic Violence will know if my site covers it, Child Abuse and Rape! Ladies want a link to your site about Domestic Violence listed with the others to help other victims?

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